I am her, and her, and her, and her.
Constructed carefully from bits and pieces.
From how it should be to
How it could be.
Culled from what I see in others
Graceful effortless ease.
Be the her that loved ones need.
Till it’s so hard to remember the her that’s me.
And it’s only when everyone has left,
The doors closed, lights off, in my bed,
Wince over mis steps I made,
Knowing somewhere, someone I failed.
Resolve to be better next time
Guilty relief blossoming inside
Is this my joy?
To not be needed. To not be her
And her, and her. To cease.
Nothingness, is that me?
Aug 2023