Sometimes I truly wonder where things went off track. For some reason recently stories about female genital mutilation are popping up way more frequently than they ever used to. And recently I read a rant about how men were now dealing with this increased expectation of romance with their wives, the old mainstay of roses, lingerie and dinner etc and the new demand of extra help with chores and childcare. On the wall of a gentleman I respect for other very interesting views about science etc. There is also a strong undercurrent of resentment that the so called “good” guys amongst us are being tarred with the brush of chauvinism as their wives bring the flag of feminism into their homes. Add the male lament of not enough sex, and I truly am at a loss where to start.
So let me understand this. Girls have been carefully kept woefully ignorant about their bodies, even in well educated relatively middle class families. And any dating or experimentation has been discouraged because virginity is prized. Virginity is important because men want to be sure that the kids they raise are their own (deepest layer of premise), also because promiscuity in women is considered “bad” character (mid layer of premise, idea being that supported woman be loyal to man). There is also the fact that I guess men don’t want to be compared with other men and found wanting (top layer of premise, and my experience has been that size is truly much more a male issue).
So various ways of distorting early female sexuality including FGM. great so now you have a virgin who has been taught in many ways sex is equivalent to rape and disrespect and poor character. Somewhere in here honor killings also make an appearance. Meanwhile boys are consuming porn. More so now. And getting frustrated enough to rub up against random females. I mean it must take serious cajones to unzip in a public bus and risk displaying your pride and joy. Yet it happens all the time. Not just that, the whole gang bang rape that is so popular now contravenes the desire to not compare. I think about that, the guy has to fuck a struggling girl, in front of other aggressive men, and have his thingie and technique viewed by impatient horny folks in queue. Just the pressure alone would wilt.
If things go as culturally desired:
Then comes that all important wedding night, the families match well, the couple have met a few times, and now they must fuck. The guy only has information from porn and the girl has some strangled instructions from mom or aunt. And they do get through it, as so many arranged marriages are witness. Even if you assume the guy is well meaning, and even well performing, basic ratio of responses across most layers of society indicate that women seem to grow out of the need for sex some time after kids. Cultural gender roles ensure that.
Those all important kids the guy needed to know were his? The ones whose welfare most women have been told are the true purpose of their lives. So now both are into kid rearing and wage earning and house caring, with little or no fucking.
Was that planned? Was it supposed to be this way that you hit 45-50 and basically settled into a companionship where you basically lived as each other’s support in old age?? Do guys really think through the desire to have clueless ultra chaste virgins, expecting them to become sex receptacles?
Ps: just realized that any pre wedding night instructions would come from women in the post sex age group. I can just imagine her saying, meh, it’s ok. Not really that important.

Sexual politics.
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